Your dog is talking to you, but you need to learn how to listen
People talk to their dogs a lot – but what many may not realise is dogs are communicating back, just not in our language
Published 5 June 2025
“I wish my dog could talk to me.”
It’s something I hear regularly in my work studying animal welfare. My response? “They are talking to you, let me help you see how.”
We’re brilliant at talking to our dogs – from baby talk, to commands, to full conversations about our day.
But we’re often missing the constant stream of communication flowing back to us.
Dogs are always talking – they’re just not using words.
The many ways we chat with dogs
Research into dog-directed speech shows we naturally adjust our communication style when talking to dogs, much like we do with human infants.
This ‘doggerel’ involves higher pitch, exaggerated intonation, slower speech and lots of repetition.
“Oh, he’s a good boy. You’re such a good boy. He’s the very good-est boy.”
Brain imaging studies reveal dogs respond to this speech pattern similarly to human babies, which relates to bonding and forming attachments.
When you see a puppy and instinctively coo at them, you’re responding to what scientists call the ‘baby schema’ – rounded faces, big eyes – a vulnerable appearance that triggers our biological nurturing response.
But our communication repertoire toward dogs extends far beyond baby talk.
Twenty years ago, I thought being a good dog owner meant having an obedient dog who did things when I asked them to. Now I understand our communication is far richer than simple commands.
What the research tells us
Researchers have identified nearly ten distinct ways we speak to dogs.
This ranges from commands (like “sit” and “stay”) delivered in firm, lower-pitched tones, to praise speech that’s higher and more excited (“good girl”), often accompanied by gestures – because we’re primates who like getting our hands involved.
There’s corrective speech (“no”, “leave it”) that’s stern and abrupt, conversational chat about our day, soothing speech during thunderstorms (“it's okay, buddy”), and playful, energetic talk during walks (“let’s go”).
We also engage in ventriloquism.
Hands up if you speak on behalf of your dog? Adopting their supposed personality. And sometimes we try morphism, attempting to act like dogs ourselves through play bows, whining or barking noises.
What dogs understand about our words
Research on canine cognition suggests dogs respond to more words when they’ve received specific training.
But this might actually reflect the types of dogs whose owners engage in this kind of training, often higher energy animals.
Then there’s Chaser, the Border Collie who revolutionised our understanding of canine language abilities.
Living with retired child psychologist Professor John Pilley, Chaser learned to identify over 1000 different toys by name through repetition, play and reward.
She could even work out the name of new toys by excluding familiar ones from a lineup.
Most remarkably, Chaser demonstrated understanding of syntax – for example, the difference between “take the ball to the frisbee” and “take the frisbee to the ball”.
This suggests dogs can grasp not only individual words but also how word order affects meaning.
The conversation we’re missing
While we focus on getting dogs to understand us, we often overlook their own sophisticated communication system.
Dogs are constantly signalling their emotional states and intentions through body language, facial expressions and vocalisations.
A dog looking away, licking their lips, yawning or moving further from you isn’t being stubborn, they’re politely communicating they’re uncomfortable or would prefer space.
When we miss these subtle cues, dogs may need to ‘raise their volume’ through growling or even biting to get their message across.
Sciences & Technology
Science can help dogs enjoy their best life
The key is learning to recognise what dogs are already showing us. They live in a smell-based world where their primary sense gives them information we can’t even comprehend.
They don’t need us to stick our hands out for them to smell us, they can detect our scent perfectly well from a distance.
Respecting canine consent
Modern animal welfare science emphasises the importance of agency.
This means giving animals choice and control in their lives which includes respecting when dogs choose not to interact.
Not every dog wants to be patted by strangers, just as we wouldn’t appreciate random people touching our faces on the street.
Teaching children to recognise when dogs are leaning in for more contact versus standing stiffly and looking to their owner for support is a valuable lesson in consent that extends beyond animal interactions.
The bigger picture
Our relationships with dogs reflect our different types of human relationships, too.
We speak differently to someone we respect highly compared to how we joke with a friend or guide a child. These communication patterns reveal the nature of our bonds and what we’re seeking from each relationship.
Sciences & Technology
What are we doing to our dogs?
Dogs serve as social lubricants.
Research shows people can be three times more likely to strike up conversations in public when accompanied by a dog. They make socialising easier and can be particularly helpful for people who struggle socially.
Understanding that dogs are always communicating (just not in our language) opens up possibilities for richer, more respectful relationships with our favourite four-legged friends.
The next time your dog yawns during a pat or looks away when a stranger approaches, you’ll know exactly what they’re telling you.
The secret isn’t getting our dogs to talk, it’s learning to notice what they're already saying.
Listen to the full podcast episode How humans talk to dogs – part of the SBS Audio podcast series How Humans Talk.